As humans, we have several natural needs that must be met during childhood to ensure healthy development into independent adults. Sustainability and maturity are achieved through physical, emotional, mental, and social development. This means that individuals are able to respond appropriately to situations that align with their actual physical age and take responsibility for themselves across these four dimensions.
When trauma is present in the body, individuals may exhibit incoherent behaviours and appear emotionally, mentally, socially, and energetically younger than their actual age. When I refer to ‘healthy development’, I am talking about the alignment of an individual’s age, physical, emotional, mental, and social levels.
For example: from birth until age 6 everything is going well for the child. However, when the child is six years old, the mother becomes ill and dies. This causes the child to lose their emotional connection with their mother, which we refer to as the “grab” need. Up until this point, the child’s “grab” need was probably being met in a healthy way, but this event disrupted the child’s development of this need.
When the child is 8 years old, the father remarries for financial reasons. This may have a significant impact on the child’s ‘inner world’ perception of money and finances, potentially interrupting and creating a break in the child’s healthy developmental path around finances.
It’s important to note that trauma doesn’t always affect all areas of a person’s life. While some aspects may be influenced by trauma, it’s possible for other areas to remain unaffected. When interacting with someone, you may notice that they display mature and healthy reactions. However, at times, they may react from a different energy, which could be related to their trauma. They may suddenly revert back to the pint where the break happened and display childlike behaviour or a disconnection from the present. The healing process involves unblocking the break in their developmental line.
Imagine a river flowing towards the sea. At a certain point, a large tree has fallen across the river, blocking the flow of water. From that point on, there is no longer any water flowing towards the sea, and the energy flow is blocked. As a result, there is a lot of tension building up at the location of the tree.
In this metaphor, the river represents a person who has the potential to become a mature, fully-developed adult. The tree represents a traumatic experience that blocks the person’s emotional flow and causes tension. To restore the person’s natural emotional flow, the trauma needs to be released by removing the tree. This healing process involves allowing the person’s emotional energy to flow freely again, just like the water in the river.
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